Mindful accuracy

mindful

I decided to try some therapeutic coloring to foster tranquility at the end of a frenzied day.  I chose this particular book among the hundreds available because of the inspirational messages adjacent to each coloring page.

My fledgling sense of inner peace was shot when I encountered the spelling error on the above page.

I cannot look at this without my blood pressure going up.

May I suggest that the editors of this publication practice being mindful of careful proof-reading and express gratitude for spell-check?

 

 

Is there a linguist in the room?

I recently encountered the following sign:

game crossing

I immediately thought of this:

game

When I got home, I looked up what Mr. Merriam-Webster had to say:

game

  1. 1a (1) :  activity engaged in for diversion or amusement :  play (2) :  the equipment for a gameb :  often derisive or mocking jesting :  fun, sport <make game of a nervous player>

  2. 2a :  a procedure or strategy for gaining an end :  tacticb :  an illegal or shady scheme or maneuver :  racket

  3. 3a (1) :  a physical or mental competition conducted according to rules with the participants in direct opposition to each other (2) :  a division of a larger contest (3) :  the number of points necessary to win (4) :  points scored in certain card games (as in all fours) by a player whose cards count up the highest (5) :  the manner of playing in a contest (6) :  the set of rules governing a game (7) :  a particular aspect or phase of play in a game or sport<a football team’s kicking game>b plural :  organized athleticsc (1) :  a field of gainful activity :  line <the newspaper game> (2) :  any activity undertaken or regarded as a contest involving rivalry, strategy, or struggle <the dating game> <thegame of politics>; also :  the course or period of such an activity <got into aviation early in the game> (3) :  area of expertise :  specialty 3 <comedy is not my game>

  4. 4a (1) :  animals under pursuit or taken in hunting; especially :  wild animals hunted for sport or food (2) :  the flesh of game animalsb archaic :  pluckc :  a target or object especially of ridicule or attack —often used in the phrase fair game

 http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/game

 

I was not out in the boonies nor was I anywhere near a wild animal preserve.  In fact, I was in a populated area close to businesses and within a quarter of a mile of a college campus.

Then I understood. College students majoring in urban planning/sign design just forgot to add “r” at the end of “game.”

Now it makes sense.

gamers

Call the fashion police

easter goat

Ambling down the sidewalk of an unassuming strip mall, I encountered the above: a small goat wearing an orange tutu and an orange wig.  Its pet, a man with a brown shoe, was on a leash.  The gawkier, wearing purple shoes (who really had no business acting as the fashion police), took issue that the man was dressed inappropriately. His shoes were definitely last season.

Hail Nincompoops!

croptheatre

 

Son and I went to see Hail Ceasar! the other night.

I appreciate being able to pick seats ahead of time.  Not many tickets had been sold when I got online, so we reserved our favorite spot in the middle of the back row.

The theater seats about 150.  By the time the previews were ending, only 14 seats were occupied.

The lights were dimming when in sauntered customers #15 and #16.  They were carrying super-ultra-mega-sized drinks, ice cream bars, a 10 gallon bucket full of popcorn and a platter full of fried dough, masquerading as chicken nuggets.

And where did they choose to sit?

Right     next      to      me.

Are you kidding me?  Either side of us had empty seats all the way to the aisles.  What kind of egregious disregard of personal space was this?

My son looked at me and then I looked at the woman. She was adjusting her rather corpulent frame into the seat while also trying to claim the armrest.

And then she gave me the stink-eye!

I matched her stink-eye as I got up and moved to the other side of my son.

The movie was loud enough to mostly mask the sounds of their chewing and slurping.

My usual method of dealing with this type of situation is to repeat  Hanlon’s razor over and over to myself:

Never ascribe to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

I also try to practice gratitude, as in, “Thank heavens for Netflix.”

 

 

An oxymoronic playlist

 

 

car radio

I ran out of podcasts so I did a bit of station surfing as I drove home. The radio’s search feature landed on a new station, where a velvet-voiced DJ was announcing,  “Welcome to the new Sunny 103, where we have music to brighten your day.”

And here is what I listened to for the remainder of my drive:

“One is the Loneliest Number” by Three Dog Night

“Careless Whisper” by Wham!

“I’m all Out of Love” by Air Supply

“If You Leave Me Now” by Chicago

“Alone Again, Naturally” by Gilbert O’Sullivan

“All by Myself” by Eric Carmen

“Oh Girl” by The Chi-Lites

“Lost Without your Love” by Bread

Thanks, Mr. Velvet Voice and kudos to your inspired programming.  I’m now depressed as hell.