Left-handed life

I fell down. In medical terms, I had a “foosh”.  I tripped on a branch and Fell On an Out-Stretched Hand. When I hit the ground I heard a crunch and felt the fury of a million minions stabbing me in the wrist.

The ER staff confirmed the crunch was, in fact, the sound of breaking bones. They put me in a cast up to my armpit and referred me to an orthopedist. The orthopedist took one look at the X-rays and sent me to a hand & wrist specialist.  The specialist gravely informed me that surgery was the best option for a successful recovery. Consequently, I am now the proud owner of a titanium plate and 6 screws in my wrist.  I am compelled to navigate the rest of my summer with my non-dominant, left hand.

I found a few hacks online for coping with one limb but there have been many daily tasks for which I’ve needed to design my own strategies.

Here are tips from others:

Buy a cast cover instead of wrestling with plastic bags for showering. After the cast comes off, you will be prepared should you every encounter an elephant needing a condom.

cast cover

An electric toothbrush is easier and more effective than using a standard toothbrush. Floss picks are very handy.

Pump bottles for shampoo, conditioner and lotion are easier to use than squeeze containers.

Wear slip-on shoes wherever possible. Elastic laces convert sport shoes to slip-ons.

Ask the pharmacist for a few non-childproof pill bottles.

Here are some hacks I developed:

Showering is awkward but drying off is the true challenge.  If you lay a towel on the bed, lie down and flop around, you’ll get all of the tricky spots you can’t otherwise reach.

Reaching your armpit on the working side is awkward. Roll on deodorant in a taller bottle is an easier reach and requires less pressure.

Flushable wipes.  Enough said.

If you need to chop or slice, large clothespins can secure foods that might otherwise fly across the kitchen.  A non-skid mat under a plate or cutting board also helps.  Better yet, spend a little extra and buy food already prepared.

handy                                        clamp

Salad can be eaten with a spoon.

PULL the grocery cart.

Left handed scissors and ergonomic pens are a worthwhile investment.

lefty

Children’s handwriting workbooks can be found at the dollar store.  A few minutes of practice every day go a long way in developing your non-dominant penmanship.

workbooks

Your working hand will ache. Relieve cramps by rolling it on a firm rubber ball and stretch it often.

Folding and hanging can take a vacation.  It’s OK to live out of your laundry basket.  Use hooks instead of  clothes hangers.

hooks

For those who wear earrings and bras:

Clip-on earrings are worth the discomfort.

Pre-hook your bra and step into it, wear a stretchy sports bra or just let the girls roam free.



As much of an inconvenience as this has been, it has been merely that-inconvenient.

I am fortunate to have helpful family and friends. I have health insurance. I have access to competent medical professionals. I’ve avoided suffering thanks to effective pain medicine (appropriately taken).

I have, out of necessity slowed down. I am more deliberate and mindful.  I no longer take opposable thumbs for granted.

In retrospect, I didn’t trip.  God pushed me.   It’s the only way I’d learn.

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In support of thorough market research

Seems there were no Charlton Heston fans, sci fi fans or even baby boomers consulted during the naming of this  product.

Let’s hope they don’t come out with a green smoothie flavor.

Soylent

The Money Pit- Part II

garage door

My garage door had been very uncooperative.  It would get stuck.  It refused to obey the car remote. It made noises.

I did my YouTube and WikiHow research and tried all of the suggested fixes.  Finally  I surrendered and called the repair guy.  I chose this one because I had a coupon for a free service call.

Garage door guy arrives at 11:06 am.  At 11:07am he’s done and hands me the bill for $79.95.  Apparently, there were a few cobwebs over one of the sensors which threw off its delicate sensing abilities.

I handed the guy my coupon and he said, “Oh that only applies if we have to replace parts.”

I wonder if it’s cheaper to get a bug guy to get rid of the spiders?

The Money Pit, Part I

I have a new hair stylist I like very much.  When he finished my haircut yesterday he applied some manner of goop and then spritzed and sprayed, all the while extolling the virtues of a lovely smelling new product line he was using.  The products are all natural, locally sourced (from Italy, no less) and manufacturing is carbon neutral.  The business is family owned and the majority of the employees are under served women.

After he finished, my hair looked (and smelled) great. Priding myself as a savvy and responsible consumer, I never buy hair stuff at salons because I think they are over priced.  But I got caught up in the moment and decided I needed to help save the planet.  So I bought a bottle of texturizing sea salt spray, designed to give my hair that “beachy look” (whatever that is–I live 1000 miles from the nearest coast).

That will be $28, thank you very much.

This morning I finished my shower and opened my miracle product.

hair spray

It’s nothing but salt water.

Granted, it is in a lovely spray bottle and came beautifully wrapped.

But still, it’s just very pricey brine.

Savvy consumer indeed.

 

 

 

Truth in advertising

I have thoroughly compared these cartons and I cannot see why the ones on the left have 40 more calories than their neighbors to the right. How long  have I been unknowingly snarfing unreported calories?

However, being a trusting soul, I still believe the cartons reflect the truth.

I bought all of the remaining 280s.

IMG_20180613_175456451

The maze craze

‘Tis the season for the ubiquitous corn maze.  I have never understood their appeal. Maybe it’s because I have no inherent sense of direction and have been known to get turned around in my own small town. I like to know where I am and where I’m going. So there is no appeal to spending a precious  hour trying to find the exit to a place I spent good money to enter.

A recent visit to IKEA triggered all of the claustrophobia and frustration I remember from my visiting a corn maze as a teenager.  Even with a map, signs in the store and promised shortcuts, it took me 45 minutes to not find what I was looking for and to finally get out of the store.

IKEA map

It’s time to shop online.