Category Archives: Humor

Return of the Slovenly

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Son is home for the summer from college. He’s been here less than 24 hours. He doesn’t just arrive, he explodes as he comes in the door.  Below are just 2 of the previously tidy spaces his valuable possessions have invaded.

I went to Costco last week and stocked up, in anticipation of His Hungriness.  He enthusiastically surveyed the larder and said, “So, how long did you want this food to last?”

Right now, I’m annoyed and scared for my bank account. I’ll need to re-read this when the house is too quiet in September.

How many in a dozen?

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snackwells

I purchased several boxes of the above excuse-for-cookies.  Disguised as decadent treats, they are outstanding only in their mediocrity.

But, they were on sale.

Oldest son was visiting and was overcome with an immediate need for something sweet. These quasi-treats were the best I could offer.

I was trying to convince my son that these were delicious and oh-so healthy.  I was looking at the nutrition label when I noticed something odd.

Servings Per Container about 12.

about 12

I did a quick survey of my pantry to confirm that boxes with discrete pieces had exact serving sizes.  In contrast, my boxes of cereal had approximations.

taco shells

cereal boxes

My son’s explanation was that if a box only contained 10 or 11 cookies, the company couldn’t be sued because they honestly indicated there were only “about 12” in the box.

Lazy quality control?  No copy editors available to proof the info printed on the box?

Another one of life’s mysteries.

Mindful accuracy

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mindful

I decided to try some therapeutic coloring to foster tranquility at the end of a frenzied day.  I chose this particular book among the hundreds available because of the inspirational messages adjacent to each coloring page.

My fledgling sense of inner peace was shot when I encountered the spelling error on the above page.

I cannot look at this without my blood pressure going up.

May I suggest that the editors of this publication practice being mindful of careful proof-reading and express gratitude for spell-check?

 

 

Is there a linguist in the room?

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I recently encountered the following sign:

game crossing

I immediately thought of this:

game

When I got home, I looked up what Mr. Merriam-Webster had to say:

game

  1. 1a (1) :  activity engaged in for diversion or amusement :  play (2) :  the equipment for a gameb :  often derisive or mocking jesting :  fun, sport <make game of a nervous player>

  2. 2a :  a procedure or strategy for gaining an end :  tacticb :  an illegal or shady scheme or maneuver :  racket

  3. 3a (1) :  a physical or mental competition conducted according to rules with the participants in direct opposition to each other (2) :  a division of a larger contest (3) :  the number of points necessary to win (4) :  points scored in certain card games (as in all fours) by a player whose cards count up the highest (5) :  the manner of playing in a contest (6) :  the set of rules governing a game (7) :  a particular aspect or phase of play in a game or sport<a football team’s kicking game>b plural :  organized athleticsc (1) :  a field of gainful activity :  line <the newspaper game> (2) :  any activity undertaken or regarded as a contest involving rivalry, strategy, or struggle <the dating game> <thegame of politics>; also :  the course or period of such an activity <got into aviation early in the game> (3) :  area of expertise :  specialty 3 <comedy is not my game>

  4. 4a (1) :  animals under pursuit or taken in hunting; especially :  wild animals hunted for sport or food (2) :  the flesh of game animalsb archaic :  pluckc :  a target or object especially of ridicule or attack —often used in the phrase fair game

 http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/game

 

I was not out in the boonies nor was I anywhere near a wild animal preserve.  In fact, I was in a populated area close to businesses and within a quarter of a mile of a college campus.

Then I understood. College students majoring in urban planning/sign design just forgot to add “r” at the end of “game.”

Now it makes sense.

gamers